Ok. Here are some of my favorites from various friends and forum members from far and wide! Thanks everyone for the posts so far - some are really hilarious! That's what is so amazing about language - and they possibility for us to twist it to our liking.
from gizgrelmin [i want to be there for your next reunion!]:
1. My grandmother passed gas rather loudly once and my grandad said without missing a beat or looking up from his newspaper: "you shore sing better since ya had your teeth pulled"
2." every night i have a mouthful of hard liquor, I measured it once and my mouth holds a pint and a half".
3. "I'd probably jest kill ya if i jest had the time"
4. " what ya got on the stove, I aint ate nuthin since buck was a calf and he's a big bull now"
5. "boy. you dont know big wood from brush!"
6. "you dont want none of that naner puddin, it will get ALL in your mouth"
7. "her biscuits are so good they will make a puppy pull a freight train"
8. "he is dumb as a box of hair"
9."he is uglier than homemade sin" - my personal favorite giz!
10. "thats funnier than a football bat"
From BigMonFan:
1."her head looks like it's done wore out three bodies"
2. "ugly as a mud fence"
3. "so lazy he wouldn't say sooey if the hogs was eatin' him"
from BanjoHollow:
Daddy would always say "Don't do as I do, do as I say do." One I would always laugh at was when mom and dad would get in an argument and mom would say "Kiss my a**" and daddy would come back with "If I'd kiss you anywhere it would be your a**"
From RW:
1."With my kind of luck, if it was raining silver dollars, one would hit me in the head and kill me"
2."That nanner puddin' would make a rabbit hug a hound"
from StevenB:
1. Grandma giving us a report on the new Fuller Brush door to door salesman. "That man was smooth and a talker....he could've sold the Pope a double bed"
2. Why Wilson County men always throw away any instruction paperwork issued with a new product/purchase...."Them instructions is for people that don't know what they're doing"
3.they've brought back a "poke sack" full of memories.
4. " what ya got on the stove, I aint ate nuthin since buck was a calf and he's a big bull now"
5. "boy. you dont know big wood from brush!"
6. "you dont want none of that naner puddin, it will get ALL in your mouth"
7. "her biscuits are so good they will make a puppy pull a freight train"
8. "he is dumb as a box of hair"
9."he is uglier than homemade sin" - my personal favorite giz!
10. "thats funnier than a football bat"
From BigMonFan:
1."her head looks like it's done wore out three bodies"
2. "ugly as a mud fence"
3. "so lazy he wouldn't say sooey if the hogs was eatin' him"
from BanjoHollow:
Daddy would always say "Don't do as I do, do as I say do." One I would always laugh at was when mom and dad would get in an argument and mom would say "Kiss my a**" and daddy would come back with "If I'd kiss you anywhere it would be your a**"
From RW:
1."With my kind of luck, if it was raining silver dollars, one would hit me in the head and kill me"
2."That nanner puddin' would make a rabbit hug a hound"
from StevenB:
1. Grandma giving us a report on the new Fuller Brush door to door salesman. "That man was smooth and a talker....he could've sold the Pope a double bed"
2. Why Wilson County men always throw away any instruction paperwork issued with a new product/purchase...."Them instructions is for people that don't know what they're doing"
3.they've brought back a "poke sack" full of memories.
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