Colorful Phrases Part II - some great posts!

Ok. Here are some of my favorites from various friends and forum members from far and wide! Thanks everyone for the posts so far - some are really hilarious! That's what is so amazing about language - and they possibility for us to twist it to our liking.

from gizgrelmin [i want to be there for your next reunion!]:
1. My grandmother passed gas rather loudly once and my grandad said without missing a beat or looking up from his newspaper: "you shore sing better since ya had your teeth pulled"
2." every night i have a mouthful of hard liquor, I measured it once and my mouth holds a pint and a half".

3. "I'd probably jest kill ya if i jest had the time"
4. " what ya got on the stove, I aint ate nuthin since buck was a calf and he's a big bull now"
5. "boy. you dont know big wood from brush!"
6. "you dont want none of that naner puddin, it will get ALL in your mouth"
7. "her biscuits are so good they will make a puppy pull a freight train"
8. "he is dumb as a box of hair"
9."he is uglier than homemade sin" - my personal favorite giz!
10. "thats funnier than a football bat"

From BigMonFan:
1."her head looks like it's done wore out three bodies"
2. "ugly as a mud fence"
3. "so lazy he wouldn't say sooey if the hogs was eatin' him"

from BanjoHollow:
Daddy would always say "Don't do as I do, do as I say do." One I would always laugh at was when mom and dad would get in an argument and mom would say "Kiss my a**" and daddy would come back with "If I'd kiss you anywhere it would be your a**"

From RW:
1."With my kind of luck, if it was raining silver dollars, one would hit me in the head and kill me"
2."That nanner puddin' would make a rabbit hug a hound"

from StevenB:
1. Grandma giving us a report on the new Fuller Brush door to door salesman. "That man was smooth and a talker....he could've sold the Pope a double bed"
2. Why Wilson County men always throw away any instruction paperwork issued with a new product/purchase...."Them instructions is for people that don't know what they're doing"
3.they've brought back a "poke sack" full of memories.

Colorful sayings and quirks

I'm always fascinated by regional descriptions for things. I though I'd post a few and start a thread going that maybe you would contribute to - think of all the crazy things that you uncle said, etc...

here's some from my family [I'm thinking of compiling them into a book].
from my Grandmother: "He was crazier than a sh*t house fly". ever seen outhouse flys - the move like they had a double expresso from starbucks.

my cousin: "she was 5 foot nothin". translation: she was exactly 5 feet tall.

my dad: "The devil is beating his wife". I've heard this since I was a wee lad. It describes the peculiar event having both sunshine and the rain at the same time.

post some of you own!

The one that got away....

A couple of years ago, my good friend Rodney let me borrow one of the many amazing guitars he has - this one was a 1995 Collings D2HA with Brazilian Rosewood back and sides.
I recorded 2 CDs on it, and wrote the song "Carefree Arizona" [from my new CD Nebraska House] on that guitar. I told him that if he ever decided to sell it, I wanted first dibs.

It was unique in many ways and didn't have a Collings logo on the headstock. It had a wonderful sound. 2 months ago, i went back out to LA to play at my alma mater USC and was looking forward to borrowing the guitar from Rodney again - but he gave me some bad news. He sold the guitar for around $11,500. Needless to say, that was out of my price range. So, a requiem for a guitar....the one that got away.

My grandfather always said: "there's more pretty girls than one". Thank God for that!